​You Can Be Both

By Megan Kelly Filipi, BSN, RN, CPC, ELI-MP

“Get outside. Watch the sunrise. Watch the sunset. How does that make you feel? Does it make you feel big and tiny? Because there’s something good about feeling both.” 
- Amy Grant

That was my Thanksgiving. 

I was solo, watching the sun rise and set in Valentine, Nebraska. And it was glorious! 

I never thought that I would be alone for Thanksgiving, (notice—I didn’t say lonely) nor did I ever think I could have enjoyed being alone for Thanksgiving. But that’s what 2020 has done, help us to see our lives and our experiences in a different way. 

What a time we are living in! Soon enough this pandemic will be coming to an end. Yes, it will be over. Eventually. With all the heartache it has caused, it will be gone as fast as it came. 

Because we are in the holiday season, let’s focus on blessings. With the holidays, there is often a belief, and sometimes even forced subliminal messaging, that they are supposed to be perfectly joy-filled and merry. But they can also be messy, depressing, and harried. They can be both. So too can this pandemic. 

Amidst all the pain, there still is goodness happening. What if we looked at this global pandemic as if it’s happening FOR us, instead of happening TO us? We can have both togetherness yet isolation; family yet solitude; love yet fear; laughter yet grief; fulfillment yet feeling incomplete; joy yet sorrow.

How many of us have felt guilty smiling while suffering a loss? At the time believing, “I shouldn’t smile because I am grieving.” What if we allowed ourselves to feel both? What if we allowed ourselves to be both happy and sad? One thing this scary time needs is GRACE—grace towards others and especially toward ourselves. Let’s not chastise ourselves for feeling some good during these days of fear.

You have permission. You can be scared, yet secure; terrified, yet peaceful; insecure, yet safe; unsure, yet solid; leading, yet asking for guidance; angry, yet calm; overwhelmed, yet in control; lost, yet found; small, yet powerful; serious, yet playful; crying, yet laughing; unsure, yet wise; second guessing, yet intuitive; angry, yet compassionate; protector, yet needing protection; sensitive, yet strong; work in progress, yet masterpiece; lover, yet needing to be loved; history, yet present moment; segmented, yet whole; curse, yet a blessing.

I am a nurse, with 25 years of experience, who is recently certified as a Wellness/Energy Leadership Coach. I want to serve and guide those going through life’s transitions. I want to help shift your energy, so that you can get the most out of your life, while making conscious decisions through your transitions. 

I’ve gone through big transitions in my life, especially as of late, and I am here to help those who will do the same. We ALL go through transitions—each and every one of us— you transition. It’s a collective grief we are experiencing. We are all in this together.

As palpable as the stress, anxiety, and fear of our world is today we can prevail and find the goodness. Let’s bring in the New Year with wholeness. Strive to accept yourself with your multitude of opposing emotions. Where there is dark, let there be light. Let’s carry the light together into the new year.

You can be both.

---