By Marilyn Erickson, APRN
Instead of making resolutions for this new year, why not make a commitment to feed your own inner self, open into possibility, open your branches wide to the magic around you and within you. Step out of making yourself small, wrong, or comparing yourself with everyone else. Does that sound difficult?
One way to sort of take this apart and apply it to your own personality is to look at what personality might fit you the best? Are you a controller? Are you a pleaser? Are you an isolator? Are you a distractor? When looking at possibilities, some descriptions of these characteristics that may be helpful are as follows:
Think about where you tend to lean. Then consider what is possible, what can foster growth. Consider the actions you take. Are they from fear or do they come from your center?
While these primary characteristics guide our actions, we still can discover what we have covered up and what has been hidden. We can uncover our gifts.
How you perceive yourself, whether it be one of these four characteristics or a combination or something else, you can create, lead, nourish, and have a vision for what is possible. While your perception of yourself may guide your actions, you can discover what is hidden, uncover your gifts.
If you get caught up in “what if” way of thinking, practice thinking of the what if as a positive outcome. Thinking of a positive outcome helps overcome the fear. What if everything goes right and things unfold into possibilities. What if the challenges of your life help you to become more steady, more committed?
For the isolating or distracting person, does this help to be more supportive of others so that the matrix of your relationships can shift in a positive way. What if you have so much to give and also to receive?
Sometimes these what ifs are a means of criticizing yourself, judging. Do you see these old ways of looking at things in a negative light as keeping yourself safe? For example, you lock your keys in your car, you say to yourself, “Why did I do something so stupid?” Or can you say to yourself, “Oops, I locked the keys in the car. What am I going to do?”
Talk to yourself in a soothing way, not in a judging way. Help build your own strength and courage through self-soothing. Use kind words to reflect yourself. Judging leads to loss of energy. You are responsible for how you talk to yourself. Learn to recognize the old voices that bring you down.
Practice discerning rather than judging. Say to yourself, “I don’t agree with my own actions. What do I need to do differently?” See yourself with compassion, through loving eyes.
All of these changes in ways of seeing ourselves take practice. Practice self-soothing, enriching, learning and trust in your intuition. Bring light to your life through listening, gathering the tools that will help you, staying steady, and nourishing yourself. Come into stillness, settle and listen. Open to possibility.