 By Jenna Lopez, LICSW, LIMHP
Hey Humans! It is that time of year again. The seasons are changing and bringing the falling leaves, sweater weather, holiday after holiday and our good ole pal, Seasonal Affective Disorder. This can be in reverse for some and to those of you I say “Cheers!” As their joy becomes a little easier to grasp those of us affected by winter are just about to begin our struggle. As I wrote to you all last fall, it is a good idea to have a plan for the S.A.D. time of year that affects you. Adjusting and updating the plan as time goes on and we learn new things about ourselves. I thought I would share a few things I have learned and will be trying this coming winter. A lesson the universe repeatedly gives to me is to stop robbing myself of joy. Coming out of last years S.A.D. times, I was able to recognize many ways in which my joy robbery seems to uptick in winter. I was able to become aware of how many things I wasn’t doing that I wanted to because I was talking myself out of it aka robbing myself of joy. I have been working on building the muscle that cultivates joy in order to decrease the strength of the muscle that grabs that joy away. In other words, I didn’t wait for the S.A.D. to come to initiate a plan. The first change I made (because my therapist kept repeating the idea to me and I finally caught on) was to try harder to be curious about everything. Instead of allowing my mind to say things like, winter is going to be terrible!, I would pause and use curiosity to push back and say, But will it be terrible? A gentle reminder that I don’t know so why worry now and rob the peace I have in this moment. I used curiosity to help think about what things I thought could bring me joy, peace or excitement. Then I gently asked myself why I wasn’t doing them. The best example of this is The Being Human podcast! It is something I have wanted to do for a long time but hadn’t. A gentle why not? Was all it took for me to evaluate that I was setting some expectations that I felt I couldn’t meet. Once I changed the expectation to “have fun” I was able to give myself this joyful experience of deep talking with amazing humans in my life. I do hope you all enjoy it, but that is also an expectation I had to let go of. I realized that if I was doing it for someone else, I wasn’t going to do it. To all my winter S.A.D.-ies I wish you luck this go round. To those who are coming out of their S.A.D. time, yay it’s going to get lighter from here, I hope! How strong is your muscle for cultivating joy, peace and fun? Does it need to be strengthened?
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 By Pamela Mueggenberg, MA, LMHP, LPC
"He showed me a little thing the size of a hazelnut in the palm of my hand, and it was as round as a ball. I looked at it with my mind's eye and thought, 'What can this be?' And the answer came, 'It is all that is made." - Dame Julian of Norwich (born 1342) Paperfolding has a storied history steeped in symbolism and meaning. As Buddhism was spreading across Japan, the relatively new technology of papermaking made it possible to quickly and accurately disseminate the holy writings to more and more people. Given the sacredness of this text, the only paper that was deemed appropriately respectful was the purest, finest white paper that could be made. This, plus the possibly coincidental but auspicious similarity in pronunciation between the Japanese word for paper and the word for God-in-all-things (both pronounced “kami”) made a cultural connection between paper and spirituality. One of the most famous examples of the power of origami and social change through community art creation was the Thousand Cranes of Sadako, a young girl who died of radiation poisoning after the nuclear catastrophe at Hiroshima. Sadako used her final days to send happiness and peace to others through crane folding. Her artmaking inspired others to continue to practice and led to the creation of an endowment to help other victims of radiation poisoning. As the Thousand Cranes project has spread, the benefit of repetitive folding reveals itself: to empty one’s mind of busy thoughts and focus in on the rhythm of folds can encourage our own sense of peace. Given the ubiquitous nature of paper nowadays, paper folding has become one of the most inclusive, accessible forms of fine art. We generally all have access to some sort of scrap paper, and the objects we can fold can be modulated to match our physical, mental, and logistical capacities. An adaptation to origami, called “Pureland” by British paper folder John Smith, limits steps to simple Mountain and Valley folds and is intended to bring the beauty of origami to folks with impaired motor or cognitive flexibility. If you are interested in learning more about origami, the American Origami Society (origamiusa.org) has a wonderful website that invites you to start at your own pace, with your own intention. The Omaha Public Library has some beautiful books on paper folding, including fine artists such as Akira Yoshizawa or Paul Jackson. However you approach origami, you can find something that speaks to you. Have fun!  By Kara Cavel, Ph.D., LICSW
I love living in the Midwest where I can experience four distinct seasons. The changing of the seasons reminds me of the gift of transition. September is the ninth month of the year. The number nine represents the process of transition or transformation, completion but not finality. The ninth card in the Smith-Rider Waite tarot deck is “The Hermit,” one of the 22 cards known as the Major Arcana. The word “arcanum” means secret knowledge and if you choose to review the images of these cards, you may find there is meaning hidden within them. “The Hermit” is represented by an older person bearing a lantern. The Hermit’s downward gaze rests on the six-pointed star within the lantern. He lingers with ease and presence, protected by the cloak of honesty, grounded by a staff, gazing down in contemplation on the snow shimmering in the light of the moon. “As an emblem of personal development, rather than a guide, the Hermit signifies the idea that only withdrawing from the outer world can we awaken our inner self” (Pollack, 2019, p. 79). The summer months are busy, bright, and full of doing. The transition we experience as we prepare for the quieter, more contemplative months of the winter, is marked by the changing color of the leaves, warmer clothes, the start of the school year, shorter days and longer, cooler nights. As we transition toward the autumn months, “The Hermit” serves as a reminder to slow down and forsake the race of days. Introspection may invite the shadows of this landscape to emerge and for the unknown parts of oneself to rise. Withdrawing from the outer world, does not mean withdrawing from humanity. Rather, it is an invitation to quiet the external noise and step inside the vastness of our own internal landscape. Perhaps, we will first find silence, but as we learn to tune into our internal landscape, we may notice how receptive we are to the joy and richness that comes from being quiet with ourselves. During this time of year, I invite you to call on “The Hermit” energy to guide you toward new self-discoveries and clarify what matter most to you. References: Pollack, R. (2019). Seventy-Eight Degrees of Wisdom: A Tarot Journey to Self-Awareness. Weiser Books, MA.  by Laura Crosby
How welcome is further inquiry into peace? The world is rampant with anger and strife, injustice and inequity. Many people, including me, are not feeling peaceful. For these very reasons though, peace seems to be calling as insistently as ever. The global wisdom leader and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh (Thay) taught about, “peace in oneself, peace in the world.” This suggests that our peace work requires just as much attention to the peace within us as to the peace around us. Our mindfulness inclines toward both with clarity and compassion. In this teaching I hear a courageous, unshakeable peace that transforms fear, hatred, and violence. One that offers a healing and connecting — yet still bold — path forward in each moment. It is a peace that makes more peace possible, yet is not at all passive, silenced, or conforming. Can we make lasting peace in the world without tending to a peace within ourselves? Can we find inner peace in a struggling world? If not, how does the world’s struggle ease? How do we nurture and embody peace in our individual and collective habits of mind, emotion, speech, and action? This reflection on peace seems worth exploring for ourselves. After all, we have a choice in each moment about whether (and how) we water the seeds of peace within and around us. Thay offered this in perspective: “Our own life has to be our message.” In the spirit of living into these questions, here are some inspiring works that can help exploring and practicing “peace in oneself, peace in the world.” Books:
Talks:
And just for fun, a movie: Phantom of the Open “There is no way to peace – peace is the way.” Thich Nhat Hanh Author’s Note When peace calls, I listen: Interestingly, I had no intention of focusing this article on peace, especially since Jenna offered such a lovely article on finding your pace for peace last month. It seems the universe had other ideas. For days now, everywhere I turned “peace” literally called to me – articles, quotes, songs, conversations. On the day I found my bracelets forming a peace sign on my bathroom counter, I gave in. I can take a hint.  By Jenna Lopez, LICSW, LIMHP
I come from a slow-paced, small town in Kansas. As a little human this was an excellent pace for me. My parents were able to be overly attentive, I was able to try many different activities and explore my neighborhood on my own. As a teen the slow pace became stifling. Insert dramatic eye roll of adolescence here. I would lament frequently that there was “nothing to do!” I began dreaming of the hustle and bustle of city life. When I was finally able to branch out on my own as a young adult, I made my way to Omaha. For years I would tell myself that Omaha was my “starter city” and that one day I would move on to a bigger one. However, after graduating with my degrees, I did what most of us do, and jumped right into the grind culture of capitalism. I did not want to waste any time starting to build my career (aka my life). I kept telling myself, once you hit this next professional milestone, then you will figure out how to make those big city dreams happen. Then came motherhood. Motherhood was the first experience to bring awareness to the fact that I had built my life around my career and because of that, much of it was not fulfilling. Now I had a whole other person’s life, and hopes and dreams, to think about. I officially could not put my wants first, which created a real conflict with the realization I had not been building my life on my wants in the first place. A decade and another kiddo later, I have figured out what I want life to look like outside of the lens of capitalism’s grind culture. However, the lingering sense that I should have moved to another city was one that I just couldn’t shake. So, I recently booked myself a solo trip to New York City. I spent four days navigating the city of my childhood dreams, checking off bucket list experiences, and taking in the sites. The trip gave me the affirmation needed to shake off that final lingering wonder, should I have moved? Much of what I have learned about myself is that I need a slow pace. I am by nature a very fast paced person. I was a hyperactive kid. I constantly catch myself speed walking for no reason as if I am late to something all the time (thanks anxiety). I have often been critiqued for talking too fast and I have no idea how to harness the concept of being still, but yet I can meditate with music for almost five minutes at a time now, so we are making progress. It is the slower pace of a smaller city that compliments my personality and allows me to cultivate peace in my life. What pace do you need to cultivate peace? How do you check out of the grind and check in with yourself? These are questions I find myself and my clients digging into as we see the world attempting to re-enter the pace of life prior to the pandemic, even though we are still in a pandemic. It is a time that feels ripe for change and a reevaluation of the things we thought we should do.  By Marilyn Erickson, MSN, APRN
(This is Part II of a three-part series on Sleep. If you missed Part I, you can read it here) Recall from Part I of this series that to help us be ready for a new day, make better decisions, be more emotionally adaptive, and cope with all the changes and challenges of getting through the day, our minds and bodies must have adequate rest. Good sleep is going to repair and form new pathways in our brain. Of course, just knowing more about the importance of sleep has very little to do with getting enough sleep. In this Part II of the sleep series we will look at what we can do to help us have a good night’s sleep without medication, herbs or supplements. Somehow, we have to turn our expectations for greater productivity into a healthy respect for human repose. Adequate sleep can move us on a track of greater success in life. For example, Arianna Huffington writes, “Sleep isn’t the enemy of success and ambition. It is the royal road to the corner office”. After years of not sleeping well, Huffington changed her routine to retiring at a sensible hour each night, taking a hot bath with Epsom salts, drinking a cup of lavender or chamomile tea and just before getting into bed she writes a list of things she is grateful for. But most often, it is not that simple. There are so many factors that contribute to our sleep difficulties. Matthew Walker attributes insomnia to the overactive sympathetic nervous system that is triggered by worry and anxiety. So writing a list of blessings will not do much to lower those higher cortisol levels. What are some things we do have control over that influence sleep? 1. Limit caffeine: Caffeine is thought to block the body’s cell receptors that adenosine uses to trigger its sleep-inducing signals. So it fools the body into thinking it isn’t tired. (Adenosine is a substance that builds up during the waking hours and reaches a level toward the end of the day that signals us to get rest. Then, while we sleep, the adenosine is broken down.) Caffeine can take as long as 6-8 hours for its effects to completely wear off. 2. Limit nicotine: As nicotine is a stimulant, it makes our sleep lighter than normal sleep and heavy smokers tend to awaken earlier due to nicotine withdrawal. 3. Limit or avoid alcohol: Alcohol can help us get to sleep more easily, but it prevents deep sleep and REM sleep, giving us only the lighter stages of sleep. Persons who drink alcohol may also awaken during the night when the effects of the alcohol wear off. 4. Avoid large meals (especially avoid spicy and sugary foods) and vigorous exercise 4-6 hours before bedtime: These practices can make it harder to fall asleep. However, exercise during the waking hours is associated with improved sleep. GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO WIND DOWN BEFORE BEDTIME. Relaxing in a hot bath and/or having a cup of hot non-caffeinated beverage at night can be helpful. 5. Improve your sleep environment; create a quiet and relaxing environment:
6. Other tips:
References: American Academy of Sleep Medicine, Healthy Sleep Habits, 2020. Arianna Huffington, The Sleep Revolution, Transforming Your Life, One Night at a Time. Matthew Walker, Why We Sleep, Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams, 2018 University of Washington, Creating Healthy Sleep Habits for Your Family, 2022. US Department of Health and Human Services (National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute), Your Guide to Healthy Sleep, 2011. The third part of this series on sleep will focus on supplements and herbs that can be beneficial in getting adequate rest and quality sleep.  By Laura Crosby
What’s going on here?! I ask myself this question more and more. In recent months, it’s been on a loop, a broken record in a mind beleaguered and baffled by world events, breaking news, weather predictions, and trips to the grocery store. Interestingly, I have a history with this question. It began as a mantra (of all things) during the Summer of 1983. We were interns for Wisconsin Congressman Les Aspin on The Hill. The Soviet Union, the Berlin Wall, and the Cold War loomed large. President Reagan introduced the Strategic Defense Initiative. The Peacekeeper MX Missile had its first flight test. The AIDS epidemic was in full swing. Sally Ride became the first American woman in space. And as they say, that was just Monday morning. At the height of a distinguished career on the House Armed Services Committee, Aspin was an astute veteran Congressman known for his “maverick streak” and his controversial positions on the US defense establishment. As interns, we did the usual: research, mailings, errands, hearings, constituent correspondence, and more mailings. Everyone hustled and everything seemed very important, yet our involvement and impact seemed peripheral at best. Enter Ari, the oldest intern at about 21. Ari would walk into every occasion asking us, “What’s going on here?” This was not a rhetorical question. It hung in the air like a spell, compelling a well-considered, thorough account of happenings and what they meant in all ways. Whether posed in a whisper along the back wall of a densely packed congressional hearing or on the Capitol steps, the question was in earnest and required immediate attention – lest it begin to loop. Ari was asking us, as peripheral as we were, to speak to what was going on, holding us accountable and subtly bringing more and more into our consciousness. As the weeks went by and we became more practiced in answering it, the question took on a life of its own. It became the mantra we recited to ourselves and to each other almost hourly. And it changed everything. In working with this question-mantra, understanding grew. For my part, I witnessed the…
Now, as then, every What’s going on here?! is a teacher. It calls me to consciousness. It reminds me that every moment is alive with its own wisdom and that the world, and all beings, depend on an understanding that none of us are peripheral. Dedicated with admiration and appreciation to Les Aspin (1938-1995).  by Pamela Mueggenberg LMHP, MA
“The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they bloom like flowers.” – Thich Nhat Hanh “I’m making a nether garden inside my house where I can grow netherwort and I thought it took netherrack but it didn’t so I tried nethersoil and that didn’t work either and then I thought aha, its soulsand and it worked and now I have 64 netherworts what’s your favorite Minecraft plant, I like the coral reef but you can’t get bees down there.” - my 8 year old son We all have monologues inside us. Grand speeches we practice in the shower for our next work meeting, or titillating date with our new favorite person, or a frankly dynamite and awe inspiring screed against the oppression of daylight savings. When we are able to sit with someone who fully hears our words, our story, we experience their mind and our mind connecting - a healing channel between us that helps us both more fully embrace our shared experience and human worth. We can pour our monologue out into the shared space, and our companion can marvel at our creation. The experience can be sacred. But we are a reciprocal species. We learn best through give and take, sharing information through the interplay of two minds as they push and pull an idea into something new. We long to be heard just as much, if not more, as we desire our beloveds to be heard by us. To put it more bluntly, sometimes you just want to get a word in! In certain situations, that’s just not what needs to happen. My beautiful child has clearly told me that when he is talking Minecraft he is “talking out my thoughts as they come in my head and I don’t want you to talk back because it mixes up all my ideas.” So I am quiet, and I listen, and I marvel, and I can see his imagination in real time as it creates and discards ideas as fluidly as a sculptor at the wheel. So what is our place here, as we are quiet, and listening, and marveling? It is easy to feel swept up in another’s story, to lose sense of ourselves or our voice as another is stretching theirs. Where is the reciprocity that we value so deeply? To fully celebrate the seemingly paradoxical reciprocity of listening to another person speak without pause is to acknowledge the power of the listener, of the witness. These monologues cannot be heard, in that moment, if we choose not to listen; they would simply not exist. We are important, and we can be cherished as such. As we breathe in, we inhale the rate, the cadence, the message of this person’s words. As we breathe out we explore our own body and mind, give ourselves the space, love, and energy we need in that moment. When you tire, when your brain gets full, you are able then to compassionately connect with your person and let them know when the conversation needs to shift without eliciting defensiveness or shame. In the meantime, breathe in your beloved. Breathe out, and allow your focus of attention to move to your own mind and body. Breathe in, you. Breathe out, me. Breathe in. Breathe out.  By Marilyn Erickson, MSN, APRN
(Part one of a three part series) Several years ago, when I was struggling with sleep, getting only 3 to 4 hours on many nights, I confided in a friend who then gave me a quote from William Shakespeare to impress upon me the importance of sleep. The quote she gave me is “Sleep knits the careworn sleeve of time” taken from Shakespeare's, Macbeth. It seems that in our modern world, we have the idea that sleep does not go hand in hand with productivity. In fact, some reports suggest that at least half of the US population is not getting enough sleep. The widely accepted range of needed sleep for adults is between 7 and 9 hours of sleep per night. So, if you think you can function on less than six hours of sleep per night, think again. Since our brains are wired to ignore signs of sleep deprivation, many people get used to inadequate sleep and never really experience the damage this minimal amount of sleep is doing to our bodies and minds. What did Shakespeare mean in the quote about sleep? The line by Macbeth means that sleep is a soothing time that heals or sews up all the worries and stresses of the day. During sleep, our brains are firing and our bodies are repairing. Here are some of the ways: Healthy Brain Function and Emotional Well-Being: Sleep helps our brain work properly. It is forming new pathways to help you learn and remember information. Sleep deficiency alters activity in some parts of the brain contributing to problems in any of the following: ·making decisions ·solving problems ·controlling emotions and behavior ·coping with change Sleep deficiency has been linked to: ·depression ·suicide ·risk-taking behavior Physical Health: Adequate sleep is involved in healing and repair of your heart and blood vessels. It helps maintain a healthy balance of hormones that make you feel hungry or full. The hormone, ghrelin, that makes you feel hungry and the hormone, leptin, that makes you feel full are out of whack where ghrelin goes up and leptin goes down. Sleep also affects how you react to insulin. Insulin is the hormone that controls your blood sugar level. When you don’t get enough sleep, you have a higher than normal blood sugar level. Increased blood sugar levels increase our risk for diabetes. In addition, your immune system requires sleep to stay healthy. If you are sleep deficient, you may have more difficulty fighting common infections. Adequate Sleep (7-9 hours) Means: ·enhanced immune function and disease resistance, helping you live longer ·increased energy and strength, so you feel and act more vibrantly ·improved weight loss and blood glucose regulation, helping you lose fat and improve your skin ·upgraded coordination and flexibility so you miss fewer steps and catch yourself when you do ·boosted hormone levels, so you recover faster and improve your fertility ·increased focus and creativity, so you can perform at your highest level ·enhanced memory and ability to learn complex skills, helping you retain what you learn ·improved emotion regulation, so you can keep your cool under stress What About Inadequate Sleep? There are so many things at stake: Longevity ·your likelihood of developing diseases and chronic ailments increases - including obesity, depression, diabetes and cardiovascular disease. Energy and resilience ·your tissue repair slows and lactic acid builds up faster Weight and metabolism ·your weight loss shifts to shedding valuable muscle rather than fat Immune function ·your immune system is disrupted and handicapped at reducing inflammation Effective thinking ·your brain accumulates toxins that impair behavior and judgment and your critical decision-making center, the prefrontal cortex, shows reduced activity Reaction time ·your cognitive impairment is equivalent to being inebriated after 20 hours of being awake Memory function ·your brain’s ability to learn and create long-term memories is compromised Regulation of emotion ·your brain’s emotional center, your amygdala, increases activity and you are more likely to overreact to social situations, like fighting with your friend or spouse It is evident that sleep is critical for the health of your body, mind, and spirit. As a way of helping you more objectively measure the quality of your sleep, it may be helpful to keep a log of how well you sleep each night or you may have a wearable device which tracks aspects of your sleep. Having a better idea of how well you are sleeping can be motivating for you to develop more healthy patterns in your life. Part 2 of this series (in a later edition of the CML newsletter) will highlight the strategies you can use (without medicine) to help you get a good night’s sleep. References: Eugene, et al. The Neuroprotective Aspects of Sleep. MEDtube Science, March 3, 2015. Kelly, et al. Sleep Tight: A Purpose for Sleep. Neurosurgery, February 1, 2014.NIH, National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute. Sleep Deprivation and Deficiency. December 13, 2021. Underwood, Emily. Sleep: The Brain’s Housekeeper? Science, October 18, 2013. Worley, Susan. The Extraordinary Importance of Sleep. Pharmacy and Therapeutics, December, 2018.  BALANCE – Kara Cavel
My word for the new year is balance. Over the past year, I have had a difficult time holding the tension of the opposites. This year where this is sadness, I would like to also find joy where this is ugliness, I would like to find beauty, where there is hopelessness, I would like to find hopefulness. Tolerating ambiguity and the complicated nature of all things is my approach to balance. LIVINGNESS – Laura Crosby Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj shared, “There is something exceptional, unique, about the present event, which the previous or the coming do not have. There is a livingness about it, an actuality; it stands out as if illuminated. There is the ‘stamp of reality’ on the actual which the past and future do not have.” In this livingness I find a vivid intimacy with the wondrousness, the preciousness of life. (Emphasis added.) CURIOSITY – Marilyn Erickson Curiosity is an essential force of life! In How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy, Jenny Odell writes about curiosity as "bringing us out of step with the everyday"; like Alice going down the rabbit hole. It can be enjoyable. It can be frightening, We have it in childhood and, hopefully, retain it into adulthood. Because curiosity can orient us to something outside ourselves it has the potential to get us involved in something so much that we forget about ourselves, even if only for a moment. EMPTY – Louisa Foster When the pandemic first began, I characteristically flew into action, trying to figure out how to get our programs and offerings online, how to keep our community connected, and get the information needed out to help everyone feel resourced and supported through the crisis. Two years in, I am more relaxed and realize how much of a need for empty space there is in my life. Space for non-directed thought. Space for creativity. Space for mystery and the Sacred. Emptiness invites possibility and silences ego. Emptiness will allow me to listen more closely to what is subtle, hidden, and sublime. HOPE - Jenna Lopez My word for 2022 is Hope. Living through the pandemic has brought many new challenges and struggles. The biggest challenge for me has been in maintaining some sense of Hope that things will get better. Hope that we will find ways to face these challenges together. Hope that whatever the new normal is going to be will involve a stronger and better sense of community. Being able to remain Hopeful in these times is a skill that I want to do a better job of cultivating in 2022. RECONSTRUCTION – Pamela Mueggenberg Reconstruction (n): 1. the act or process of rebuilding, repairing, or restoring something. 2. the re-creation or reimagining of something from the past by using information acquired through research. 3. a process by which scientific principles and techniques are applied to physical evidence in order to create an accurate understanding of a past event. I have chosen the word “reconstruction” for this year. We are now two years in of a collective trauma, one that baffles the mind and stresses the body. I would like to look back on this era of illness, fear, and conflict with a compassionate heart and nonjudgmental observation. I am going to make an effort to make some meaning of our experiences but also to help build a different future, one where we value common humanity and help each other heal and thrive. I'm also going to try and reconstruct my relationship with my body, a relationship that has been put on the back burner as I prioritized others during this pandemic - investing in self-care, meditation, movement, and a more mindful relationship with food will be a welcome change. We’re not done with Covid yet, but reconstruction can begin before the trauma ends - and in fact might be what we need to end it. |
