How tender we are. How vulnerable and fierce it is to live the human experience. How much courage it takes to live this fragile life fully.
The past few days, I’ve found myself in something of a melancholy. I think there is some unexpressed grief trying to find voice. Or perhaps it is just my turn to move through the cycle of sadness that we must all dance through as the days of living pass.
I notice my brain wanting to create a narrative, to manufacture a reason for my mood. Have I been disappointed by someone? Has my ego been bruised by recent events? Have I internalized the tragic events occurring in the world? Perhaps I am lost in the sorrow of memory as we put together our family altar for the upcoming honoring of the dead? Maybe. Maybe not.
I am trying for now, just to stay in the moment. Trying to let the feelings move through me and give them the necessary space to work whatever healing magic is needed. I am sitting with these uncomfortable feelings, leaning into them, creating space around them, knowing that they do not signify anything dangerous or threatening. They are not to be dealt with, or to be distracted from. They are simply evidence that I am alive, breathing, and connected with the world.
This is not easy work. And I write of it only because these human experiences are all too normally borne in silence and isolation. We do not talk about our sadness, as if it signifies a moral failure or a character flaw. But if we do not share these challenging experiences of being human, we risk falling prey to the curated social media expressions of what is it to be human. Then, I fear that we are no longer living a human life…. We are performing a human life.
Today, I am sad.
Welcome sadness. What are you here to teach me?
Blessings on your journey,
postscript: In a bit of synchronicity, I wrote these thoughts of sadness before reading the article that Hillary shared for our feature below. There is something so resonant and healing in this kind of mirroring. Thank you, Hillary for your vulnerability. It is always a good reminder that we are human together.
Louisa has always enjoyed writing and is thrilled that she now has a way to share her musings with a larger community of like-minded seekers. Her writing is often an extension and exploration of the struggles she faces in integrating her own spirituality, scholarly study, life experience, and nuggets of brilliance from her teachers in the hopes that it might alchemically transform itself into something approximating wisdom.