Self Compassion and You

Pamela Mueggenberg LIMHP, MA Art Therapy Counseling
 
“Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only
antidote to shame.” - Uncle Iroh, from Avatar: The Last Airbender
 
One of the most charming and frustrating characteristics of every single human being alive is we all believe, unwaveringly, that we are just a little different than everybody else. While we can enjoy community and feel seen and held by those close to us, there is a certain little gremlin in our minds whispering, “you’re not quite normal.”
 
We have the option, when faced with this apparent uniqueness, to be proud of ourselves.  No one could ever feel as deeply as we have, or have a love as consuming as ours, or have that really clever thought just like we did.  We are so good at being human we transcend humanity.
 
We also have the option to view our uniqueness with shame. We are inherently flawed, no one is as broken as we are, if anyone knew all the thoughts we’ve had they would run away screaming.  We are so bad at being human we have elected to excommunicate ourselves from the group lest anyone find out.
 
A third, much more uncomfortable option, is to allow for the possibility that maybe you aren’t that special. You are one of an innumerable tiny babes born to parents born to parents stretching back to Mitochondrial Eve. You are a glowing thread in a brilliant tapestry, one whose light is not dimmed by its neighbors but is no more beautiful than any other thread.
 
You are undeniably, wholly human - no contingencies, exceptions, or apologies included.
 
What makes this fact so slippery I’m willing to bet, is that right now some of you reading this are thinking something along the lines of “oh that’s so true!  Not for me obviously, but I should really share this with my friend/daughter/neighbor!” No, sweetie.  I’m talking to you.  You.
 
You can take a break to breathe and the world will not end. You can speak gently to yourself, like a parent to their child who just skinned their knee. You can figure out, with intention and love, what you actually need in your life or in this moment, and then, if you’re brave enough, ask for help.
 
You are allowed to do these things because you are just as worthy, just as incredible, as everyone else.

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