Aging Gracefully Together

​by Laura Crosby
 
Everything and everyone is aging and imperfect. All that we hold dear and everyone we love.
 
Noticing the transient beauty and imperfection of something or someone, especially those we cherish, often slows us down, gentles our gaze, and draws us into a truer, more intimate connection.
 
In moments filled with this noticing we can experience the harmony that Pema Chödrön speaks of when she teaches, "Impermanence is a principle of harmony. When we don't struggle against it, we are in harmony with reality."
 
But the harmony in our own aging? That’s harder to find.
 
Where is the transient beauty staring back from the mirror? Where is the version of ourselves that doesn't struggle against a reality thick with the imperfections, discomforts, and uncertainties of an aging body and mind?

We may appreciate the patina of age on others. Honoring it in ourselves is another matter entirely.

There is no rule that we must accept aging gracefully. Be wary of anyone claiming there is only one right way. We each find our own relationship to the irreversible flow of life.

For some, mindfulness and meditation are good friends on this path of aging and imperfection, especially when practiced in community. Practice groups can be uniquely supportive spaces, where our experiences and struggles are held in honesty, compassion, grace, and wisdom — our own and that of others. 

We practice bringing intimate attention and kindness to our whole body just as it is in each moment. This turning inward not only illuminates the physical experience, but how the mind relates to it: the thoughts, judgments, desires, and beliefs. This seeing can be freeing.

The heart speaks too, sharing how it feels in each moment of aging, imperfection, and impermanence. We tend to the full range of feelings — love, gratitude, fear, grief, they are all welcomed. This tending can be mending.
 
Above all, we know through shared mindfulness practice that “Just like me” everyone is aging and imperfect. I’m not alone. We are all of this nature and it is not personal.
 
Coming together to bring mindfulness and equanimity to aging, we can experience harmony with the flawed and fading. In the spirit of wabi-sabi, we may be drawn to the beauty of impermanence and imperfection, including our own.
 
Reflecting together on wisdom teachings, we gain insights from within and around us. The struggle against reality softens and so does much suffering. As Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us, "It is not impermanence that makes us suffer. What makes us suffer is wanting things to be permanent when they are not.”
 
With gratitude to all in our mindfulness community. Your friendship, wisdom, and heart are deeply felt and a source of great comfort and equanimity.

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