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NOTES FROM LOUISA

March 2021

3/29/2021

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A Note from Louisa
 
Today, I went for a long walk with a friend. It was chillier than we expected, but still, it felt glorious to be outside, moving our bodies, and catching up. The sun was nowhere to be found, but knowing that there were warmer days on the horizon made the temperature feel just fine.
 
I always marvel at how warm 50 degrees feels after a long, cold winter, and yet how cold it feels when November rolls around. It’s all about the perspective, isn’t it? Perspective and expectation.
 
When the temperature begins its inevitable drop toward the bitterness of winter, the same weather I experienced on my walk today feels foreboding. It chills me to the bone. Yet today, knowing that spring is just around the corner, I welcome the wind and rain as a sign of the new life that is struggling to push through the earth.
 
So it is with all of our reactions. Our entire experience is often shaped, not by the present moment, but by the narrative we construct around it. 
 
I remember a couple of years ago, getting angry at someone who cut me off in traffic. A few blocks later, we got stuck at the same red light. I looked over and saw that the passenger of the car was in some distress, vomiting into a bag. The driver was clearly upset, trying to comfort and soothe the passenger, while navigating rush hour traffic to boot.
 
In that moment, the context of the story changed my entire perspective, as well as my expectations, and most importantly my reaction. Instead of indulging my self-righteous indignation, I saw the driver as a fellow traveler, worried, preoccupied, trying to manage the urgency of the situation. How might I drive if I was anxiously tending a loved one?
 
My heart softened. I wondered how much unnecessary resentment I might have continued to carry had we not both been stopped by that light. If I had not been “reeducated” about what was really going on. How many other times have I not been compassionate because I didn’t have all of the information? And, frankly, isn’t this always the case? Do we ever have all the information necessary to warrant our judgement of others?
 
I’m reminded of that famous saying attributed to Plato “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”  
 
Because, when we peel back all of our expectations, interpretations, assumptions, judgments, and narratives, 50 degrees is just the temperature.
  
Blessings on your journey,
Louisa
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February 2021

2/28/2021

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Note from Louisa
 
I am feeling agitated this morning, as I sit down to write this.  The vernal equinox is still nearly a month away, with its promise of bird song and new blooms.  We’ve just emerged from the record-breaking cold, and watched as our sisters and brothers in Texas have had additional suffering piled on to their already considerable burden.
 
I am weary. We are weary.
 
In my meditation practice, this feeling of restlessness is an old friend… the urgent desire “to do something”, “to make something happen”.  It feels insufficient to simply befriend the impulse and observe it with curiosity and compassion.  Yet, that is the task.
 
What I notice immediately is the unpleasant sensation of helplessness that we have all been living with for the better part of a year.  So much is beyond our control.  We are merely passengers on an out-of-control train that has jumped its tracks.
 
I must remind myself at these times that that train was never really ON the tracks in the first place. In fact, in rare moments of quiet, I glimpse that there isn’t really even a train.  There is only the illusion of the train on its orderly track, that is navigated at respectable speeds, that I create to avoid feelings of… well, this. 
 
You might think that this understanding makes the loss of control all the worse. In the face of such enduring loss, it’s no wonder we create complex illusions that further our belief of control. Who wants to feel that everything is so random? 
 
Yet, perhaps, letting go of the illusion of the train, also liberates us from having to try to steer the damn thing.
 
If there is no train, no tracks, no illusion, then perhaps I can relax into the experience of the ride.  Yes, it is frightening, but at times exhilarating.  Yes, there is sorrow, but there is joy and love as well. And, in my panicked desire to try “to make something happen”, I might miss all of this.
 
I’m still gripping the “not-really-seat” on “the-not-really” train, and even this is evidence that, once again, I am trying to “do something”.  I wonder what it might take for me to put my hands up in the air, throw my head back, and laugh with delight at the imminent roller coaster drop, and just…  enjoy the ride?
 
Every Blessing,
Louisa
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January 2021

1/27/2021

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Note from Louisa
 
Welcome to a New Year! It feels like we have already lived three months of it with all the events that unfolded in the past few weeks.
 
I certainly have been moved by many of them, but none more that the beautiful presence of the first National Youth Poet Laureate, Amanda Gorman’s recitation of her work, “The Hill We Climb” at the inauguration. 
 
If you missed it, I encourage you to find a recording of it, to experience it as Amanda would want it to be heard.  Here is a link to the complete poem.  Words from a 23-year old sage, who overcame a childhood speech impediment and an auditory processing disorder.  Perhaps one word for 2021 is INSPIRING?
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    Archive: Notes from Louisa

    Here you will find a sampling of the 'Note from Louisa' that appears each month in the CML newsletter. 

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  • Home
  • Practitioners
  • Services
    • Individual Therapy & Creative Arts
    • Meditation Schedule (No Charge)
    • Workshops, Classes & Events >
      • Beginning Meditation & Mindfulness
      • Self-Compassion and the Path of Sorrows
      • Conversations with Wisdom
      • Provider Play Date
      • Mindful Self-Compassion
      • Yoga Offerings
      • Other Offerings
  • Resources
    • Blog
    • Notes from Louisa
    • How to Meditate
    • Meditation at Home
    • Omaha Meditation Listing
    • In the News
  • Contact
  • COVID-19 Updates