By Dr. Kara Cavel, LCSW
 
Dan Siegel, a clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA, an author, and one of my personal academic heroes, offers practical tools supported by research in several of his books, notably Brainstorm (2013) and Mindsight (2011) to develop and maintain well-being.
 
Siegel uses the phrase The Healthy Mind Platter which highlights 7 daily activities that promote well-being.
 
1)  Sleeping is crucial for our bodies and especially our brains. It helps with memory consolidation, insulin function and food metabolism, immune function, stress reduction, and mental functioning such as thinking, problem solving, handling emotions, and connecting with others. According to the United States National Sleep Foundation, the recommended amount of sleep for optimal health for adults is 7 to 9 hours (Siegel, 2013, p. 285).
 
2)  Physical time includes moving your body throughout the day. Move your body in any way you can. This is good for your brain as it enhances neuroplasticity---how our brains change in response to experiences. Try dancing, walking, yoga, or any activity that increases your heart rate for about thirty minutes a day.
 
3)  Focus time includes focusing our attention on one thing at a time in order to give our brains the opportunity to do what is was built for--processing energy and information, linking information to other information, and consolidating the neural firing into long-term structural changes (Siegal, 2013, p. 286). Try reading without interruption, doing a cross word puzzle, or writing/journaling for twenty minutes a day.  
 
4)  Time-in refers to sitting with ourselves and reflecting on our inner world. Bringing awareness to your breath for five minutes a day is a great way to strengthen the part of the brain that regulates attention, emotion, and thinking.
 
5)  Down time refers to doing nothing! Yes! Do nothing! Take a portion of your day and dedicate it to doing nothing, having no plans, and giving the brain a break.
 
6)  Play time includes laughter and engaging in activities with ourselves or others that bring joy, freedom, and wonder! Doing this will help to reinvigorate the part of your brain that helps you think outside of the box.
 
7)  Connecting time includes cultivating our relationship with others in order to enrich our lives, find more meaning, and develop wisdom through reflective conversations.
 
I hope these practices create a stronger sense of well-being for you throughout the next month!
 
References:
 
Siegel, D.J. (2013). Brainstorm: The power and purpose of the teenage brain. Penguin Group.    
 
Siegel, D. J. (2011). Mindsight: The new science of personal transfor

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Daniel G. Weidner
 
"By the Law of Periodical Repetition, everything which has happened once must happen again and again and again -- and not capriciously, but at regular periods, and each thing in its own period, not another's, and each obeying its own law." (Mark Twain).
 
The time of the coronavirus known as Covid-19 is now fully upon us. Someday this will be history. Right now it is a pervasive and sometimes frightening current event. But we know from history that it is a repeat of countless plagues that have visited humankind since the dawn of history. We, the people of planet Earth, who are living through this current plague of 2020 must do our best to learn everything that we can from this event and pass that knowledge and wisdom on to future generations. Each generation learns from past generations. This is our story, of our life, during our time. It is, therefore, incumbent upon us to record this history in our own way through the medium that is best suited for us at this time.
 
Joan Halifax (Roshi, PhD) in her book The Fruitful Darkness states that: "...stories are also protectors. Like our immune systems, they defend us and the people against attacks of debilitating alienation . My good friend Steven Foster says that people erect symbolic stories around themselves like houses. These stories are "circles of protection and purpose that bodily carry our spirits all the way to the gates of death." For stories and myths are the connective tissue between culture and nature, between self and other, between life and death that sew the worlds together in their telling. And in the protective and connective body of story the soul quickens. It comes alive."
 
The story of this plague in our time is important in so many ways. The telling of this story is both good for us in the now and good for future generations who will look back at this time with awe and wonder. Through the telling of this story we can begin to understand and appreciate the fears, anxieties, hopes, and aspirations that we are currently experiencing. We also can pass important and perhaps vital knowledge and wisdom on to those who follow in our footsteps.
 
I want to encourage everyone reading this to record your story. Utilize your own true nature and your own skills to express this human story through a variety of mediums. Leave the judgments aside and just tell the story through whatever creative and expressive form(s) that suits you best. The mediums of art (drawing, painting, sculpture...), dance, music, poetry, prose, photography, and journaling are all well suited for the telling and recording of this complex, emotional, and powerful time in which we live.
 
While you are doing this remember to stay home, stay safe, save lives. Namaste.

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By Nanci Nilles Psy.D. 
 
Not only is nature beautiful, now there is evidence it may reduce type II diabetes, cardiovascular disease, depression, sleep disorders, pre-term birth, and premature death.
 
An examination of the evidence from 140 studies involving populations from the UK, US, Spain, France, Germany, Australia, and Japan, suggests communities with higher levels of green space are more likely to report overall good health. The study defined green space as both open underdeveloped land with natural vegetation as well as urban green spaces such as parks and street greenery. (Twohig-Bennet 2018) 

There are theories as to why nature seems to heal. Some speculate the increased physical activity and socialization, which often accompanies outdoor activity, is responsible for a decrease in inflammation. Others speculate the outdoors exposes the body to a wider range of bacteria than an indoor dwelling, which strengthens the immune system.
 
Being in nature also seems to switch the body into a "rest and digest" mode, which is the opposite of the fight or flight mode. The fight or flight response diverts physical resources from "nonessential" functions such as the immune system. When the body is in nature and feels safe, the immune system strengthens which improves overall mental and physical health.  

It can be tempting to hole up for the winter in front of screens. However, a walk around the neighborhood, stepping outside a work site for a breath of fresh air, or faithfully filling the bird feeder may be more healing and helpful than you would have ever thought - no need to wait for spring to get a dose of nature's healing. 
 
The Health Benefits of the Great Outdoors: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis of Green Space Exposure and Health Outcome. Environmental Research July 2018. Twohig-Bennet et al.

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By CML Practitioners
 
The following offerings reflect the intent for the coming year of those of us that share the healing space at The Center for Mindful Living:
 
Simply-Deeply-Truly
Laura Crosby
Living simply, awake to the essential, direct experience of each moment. 
Living and loving from my deep places, embodied in body-heart-mind-spirit.
Being my truest self, honoring what comes from wise, compassionate knowing. 
 
Trust
Daniel Tipton
This year, I intend to work on trust. In this case, I mean trust in myself. I have experienced that if I try to do the right thing, the universe has my back. My anxiety, anger, frustration, etc... usually boil down to a temporary lapse in self-trust and trust in the greater forces at work. When my intentions and actions are inhibited by self-doubt, I only delay the positive outcomes that work their way to me anyway.  
 
Integration
Kara Cavel
Integration is my word for 2020. This word is inspired by a quote from the Irish poet John O'Donohue (found originally in a book written   by Dr. Dan Siegel)
"I would love to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding."  
This year I hope to be liberated by the familiar and inspired by the unknown. 
   
Sacred
Pamela Mueggenberg
This will be a year of great change for me - I am taking a step back from my therapy practice to spend time loving on my new baby, due in May. My family, artistic, and professional life will dramatically shift with our new arrival, and with it the temptation to get stuck in the weeds of anxiety and the desire to control. Thinking of this, my word for the year is SACRED.  What transcends this poop-y diaper?  What lifts me from exhaustion and reminds me of the greater whole?  What is precious, vitally important to me, right now?  My promise to myself is to ask what is truly sacred to me, each day - and, during those rougher days, maybe even each moment.  
   
Persistence
Nanci Nilles
Persistence is my word for 2020. There is not much glamour to it, but without persistence, goals fade, and complacency prevails. This next year I will be persistent in my practice of gratitude for my blessings. I will be persistent in my practice of self-care.
 
Spaciousness
Louisa Foster
I've chosen spaciousness as my focus this year. I would like to make more room in my life, both internally and externally. I realize that compassion and presence in one's life require time and intent. By creating spaciousness, I can attend to the values and people that matter most to me, without the distractions of things that no longer serve.
   
And...
Won't you add your word for the year? We would love to hear from you. What is your focus this year and why? Please post your response on our Facebook page and let's keep the conversation going.

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By Pamela Mueggenberg, MA, LMHP, LPC
 
Before finding my home here at the Center for Mindful Living, I worked as a pregnancy counselor for a local non-profit organization. I am proud of the work we did, using our compassionate and nonjudgmental space to help women facing unplanned pregnancies make the choice that was best for them.
 
During that time, I met dozens of women facing a wide variety of psychological, financial, and logistical concerns that needed to be addressed as they made their decision. Am I healthy enough to raise a child like I would like to? Will my partner be supportive of my decision? What does labor feel like? How on earth do I tell my boss?
 
Now that I am a mother of a wonderful little boy with another on the way, I look back on those conversations with a new sense of empathy and awe. I am grateful that both of my pregnancies were planned and I am buffeted by a support system that helps me to be successful.
 
At the same time, there are some common threads through every pregnancy that I've witnessed or experienced that is necessary to explore to help keep both mother, family, and baby safe and healthy.
 
One of my favorite senses in the human body is proprioception. Proprioception is the innate awareness of your body's position in space. If you close your eyes right now, you will still be able to know how your feet are touching the ground, how the chair is supporting your back.
 
During times of rapid change to our body, our proprioception sometimes takes a while to catch up to our current physical shape. When a teenager goes through a growth spurt, they are famously clumsy until their senses can catch up with their new gangly legs.
 
Given the sudden change in a pregnant woman's body, we also see a disassociation between our proprioception and physical selves. This gap between how we sense ourselves and how our body is moving through space can be confusing at best.
 
Do we still take ownership of our body if we're not sure where it is in space? This disconnection can be exacerbated by the sudden shift of a woman's body from a private vessel to a public announcement of fertility. Strangers asking medical questions, friends rubbing your belly, family members sharing intimate or disturbing stories of their own experiences. Women can often lose track of their physical identity, which can lend itself to feelings of powerlessness, anxiety, or depression.
 
As we navigate this shifting landscape of physical identity, a deeper identity shift may also arise. Before a pregnancy, women often choose how they are seen. Small business owner. Feminist. Cancer researcher. Funny. Bibliophile.
 
As they engage in the monumental task of creating a life, those identities tend to be subsumed by the weighty title of Mother. We all have different expectations of how mothers function in the world, but for many women, their rules of "How to Be a Good Mother" are rigid, unforgiving, and requiring a level of self-sacrifice that most adults could not possibly meet.
 
Many women grieve the loss of the pre-mother identity while at the same time blaming themselves for not being good enough. These feelings are often minimized by well-meaning onlookers, and their optimistic if myopic statements about "enjoy every moment!" and "being a mother is the best thing that ever happened to me!" It is a painful catch-22.
 
There are so many more aspects of pregnancy that can elicit a huge gamut of emotions. The reminder that you are literally creating a human out of that grilled cheese you ate for lunch. The first time the baby moves and you realize he's happy in there. And, oh my goodness the hormones!
 
However, I believe it is a disservice to our society if we minimize the challenges that women face during these times under the guise of optimism and excitement.
 
If you are pregnant, planning on becoming so, or recently had a baby, I would strongly suggest that you think about coming to therapy. Therapy is a weekly check-in to make sure you aren't exhibiting any precursors of postpartum depression.
 
It is a safe place to explore all these complicated emotions without feeling judged or guilty. And it can be a wonderful time to take a break from being a mother and explore how you can integrate who you are into who you are becoming.

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By Daniel G. Weidner, MA
 
There is much being written about and discussed regarding Mindfulness these days.  In the West we tend to get a little faddish about things and we find that the current fad passes as the next one arrives.  The 2,400+ year old practice of Mindfulness will be around long after the current trend here in the West moves on. 
 
Practitioners of Mindfulness realize that a lifelong commitment to the practice is essential. There is an understanding that the fundamental goal of Mindfulness is not to attain some heightened state but to live our lives in the present moment - to be here now.  The practice helps us to be present for our lives as they are now. 
 
Practitioners learn that the past is a dream and the future is a vision, but the present moment is where we actually live.  We learn to watch our thoughts and to be with our feelings and emotions. We recognize and become aware of our suffering and emotional reactivity, and begin to cut through self-deception. 
 
The practice is in many ways healing and naturally leads to an increase in compassion, empathy, and understanding for ourselves and others.    No wonder it has gained some notoriety in the West!  But make no mistake; this is not a hobby to be picked up when one has some spare time.  The realization of the benefits of Mindfulness practice requires both a formal daily practice and an informal daily practice. 
 
The formal daily practice involves Meditation.  It is a fundamental.  Learning to meditate takes time and can be facilitated by engaging with a meditation teacher, reading instructional materials, viewing videos, listening to audio presentations, going to meditation retreats, and getting involved with other meditation practitioners.  
 
As a long time mediator it has been my experience and understanding that it is not how long one sits in meditation, but how often.  Yes, there are wonderful benefits and understandings to be attained by longer periods of meditation.  But sitting every day, no matter what is taking place in your life at the moment, is where the most significant impact of meditation can be realized.
 
Sitting when you feel great or ill, sitting when you don't really want to, sitting when you are traveling, and sitting when conditions are not ideal - this is where you find the greatest learning and insight into your own life.  So, formal sitting or walking meditation every day, no matter what... this is what will facilitate and maximize our ability to develop a deeper relationship with the thinking mind and to touch the heart.  
 
Through the formal practice of meditation we learn and develop skills.  We learn to concentrate on our breath, to observe our thinking mind, to name and note thoughts and feelings, and to deal with a myriad of distractions.  We learn about impermanence and the fact that nothing lasts and that change is our constant companion.  We learn how to return to the present moment. 
 
As we progress and grow in our meditation practice these skills begin to fully develop and we gain habit strength with them.  Our ability to recognize and be aware of emotional reactivity and suffering strengthens and expands.  We learn to note and/or name the thoughts and resultant feelings that arise, and let them pass.  We learn to return over and over to the present moment. 
 
The informal daily practice begins to take shape from the formal daily practice.  This is what is sometimes referred to as everyday mindfulness.  We take the learnings and experiences from our daily meditation practice and begin to utilize and apply them in our daily lives.  We take the formal meditation skills and begin to apply them on an ad hoc basis as we move through the vicissitudes of our lives. 
 
There is a growing recognition that we cannot know what may happen to us next and we begin to understand the groundless nature of our lives.  Trust in ourselves and our ability to open to our lives as they are begins to expand.  Over time we are able to recognize emotional reactivity as it is arising in the moment, note and/or name it, and (with some practice) let it pass.  Suffering (defined here as what we add to our experience) becomes increasingly apparent and we begin to comprehend that we no longer need to engage in the (sometimes habitual) thoughts that serve to extend or increase uncomfortable or painful experiences, as well as positive/desired experiences. 
 
We learn to accept what is happening and to move on with our lives.  In this way we bring greater freedom and equanimity to our daily lives.  The informal practice then begins to inform and enhance our formal practice.  There is an interdependence and interconnected-ness that develops in our practice between the formal and informal daily practices.  This then becomes a way of life for the practitioner and helps her or him to live life in the present moment in a consistent manner.

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by Daniel G. Weidner, MA

This is a reflection on mindfulness practice during an intense period of loss, grief, confusion, anger, and resentment - in other words Dukkha. My father passed away on March 29th of this year. Eleven days later, upon returning to work from burying my father, I learned that my job had been eliminated due to deep budget cuts at my place of employment. Either one of these events would create significant stress in a person's life. Both happening in such quick succession left me in a fog. I was stunned, dazed and confused.

It was like a bad dream. I found that I had lost confidence in my own basic wisdom-mind and that I began to close down to myself and others. My reaction to these events took me by complete surprise.

What I found (in part) is that my expectations regarding my Mindfulness practice were actually getting in my way. I had thoughts that somehow I shouldn't feel this poorly as a result of my practice. That somehow, I should have been immunized from at least some of the impact of these losses. That I could just spend a little extra time on the cushion and basic equanimity would return. I felt like I should get a pass on some of the grief, anger, sadness, depression, anxiety, and sorrow that embodied my experience. Heck, I had been paying my mindfulness dues for a long time...right? Wrong.

I discovered that I had been trying to find ground in the shifting sands of my current struggle. I had been trying to impose my will upon events as a way to somehow bypass the effects of these events. I was faced with what Pema Chodron calls "the big squeeze".

To paraphrase Pema, the big squeeze is the discrepancy between our inspirations and beliefs and the situation that presents itself. It is the rub between reality and vision that causes the big squeeze. She goes on to state that it is this big squeeze that causes us to grow, to wake up, to live a mindful life, to be alive with compassion and understanding. Pema states that this "...is one of the most productive places on the spiritual path and in particular on this journey of awakening the heart."

In hindsight it seems that, to some extent, I have realized some immunization from this onslaught of dukkha. My years of training and practice, on a daily basis, in the meditation discipline of shamatha-vipassana have been of great benefit. As a result of my years of practice I began to comprehend and understand that I had to return to the basics as a way to deal with this inundation of dukkha.

I had to find my breath, get in touch with my body, and return (again and again) to the present moment through concentration practice during formal meditation. I reached back to the very basic skill sets that I had learned as a practitioner of Mindfulness as a means to find some balance again in my life.   I started with counting breaths during my daily meditation. I began to name and note the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that were flooding my experience. This was hard work.

A return to the basics of sitting practice also put me in a position to more consistently move through my daily life in the present moment. However, it was not until I actually engaged in the mindfulness practice of immersing myself in the present experience, of embracing the gestalt of the current events in my life and my responses to them, that I actually started to see the fog that had enveloped me begin to dissipate.

I had to be with the pain, anger, loss, resentment, and grief before I could start to let go and settle back into equanimity. I rediscovered that I had to go through the s*&# before I could get past the s*&#. I could not circumvent it; I could not ignore or deny it. I had to look at it squarely and know it for what it is. I had to embrace dukkha.

I am immensely grateful for my Mindfulness practice. The practice is, and has been, many things for me over the years. It has helped me to realize suffering when it arises. It has engendered both self-compassion and compassion for others. I have improved upon my ability to recognize emotional reactions as they begin to arise within me and to reduce the times when I get caught up in them. Gratitude, empathy and the ability to live in the moment are also artifacts of this practice.  But what I am most grateful for at this time is the way that Mindfulness helped me through these most difficult of times.

Namaste.

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By Pamela Mueggenberg LMHP, MA
​
A few weeks ago I heard a polite bellow from our waiting room.
"Hello? Your food is here!" 
"Oh, thank you! Here, let me just sign this..."
The deliveryman shifted his weight. "What do you all do here?"
"Well we do meditation and therapy. I'm an art therapist."
"Oh!" he laughed, "I tell all my friends I'm crazy! Maybe I should come here!  If you think you can handle me!"
 
This short interaction is fairly common for anyone who works in mental health.  There is a discomfort, a feeling of vulnerability or alienation, which sometimes arises when a person who is unfamiliar with the work of therapy is unexpectedly introduced to it. There is a curiosity about something new, but so often it is paired with fear.
"Can you tell what's wrong with me if I draw something for you?" 
"Are you diagnosing me right now?"
"Oh no, I shouldn't have told you that!"
 
To me, these kinds of comments illuminate just how urgent the need for transparency is in mental health. Working one on one in a soundproof room, discussing intimate details of ones experience - and the necessary confidentiality of those conversations - makes it more difficult to openly describe what therapy looks like. 
 
Within that private space we as clinicians are using evidence-based, reasonable, concrete exercises, interventions, and ideas to help people better understand themselves and navigate their world. Unfortunately, if you don't know that, you may assume (as many do) that therapy is something more nebulous or spooky.
 
One of my biggest priorities when working with my clients is to be transparent in the work. I want to make sure that everyone who comes to see me knows exactly what they're getting into and, as informed and empowered consumers, they are able to make their own decisions regarding their care. In that spirit, I would answer a few questions I've been asked about therapists and the therapeutic process.
 
Q: Why is my therapist checking the clock? Is she bored?
 
A: No! As you are talking, your therapist is listening intently to your words and coming up with ideas, questions, or interventions that might help you. If there is a question that could open up a bigger topic, she wants to make sure you both have enough time to get through it. 
 
It wouldn't be fair if she asked a big question five minutes before you have to go.  As with any deep conversation, we need to plan for a transition from that depth, to you walking out the door. It feels weird to walk about of therapy without getting yourself ready for the outside world.
 
Q: Why do we have to meet so often?
 
A: Thinking of therapy as a medical or emotional intervention can often lead to frustration about scheduling. Therapy is not a doctor's visit. Therapy is more akin to physical therapy, where you are exercising muscles to heal from an injury, or a class where you are learning a new skill. 
 
Therapy can also be seen as regular part of your overall well-being, like brushing your teeth or taking a shower. While some sessions can lead to dramatic bursts of insight or compassion, most of the work is done one small step at a time, as your brain and body reorient themselves.
 
Q: What if I scare my therapist?  How can I trust that he will be able to handle what I have to say?
 
A: There is a common pop culture trope of the villain going to a well meaning, but incompetent therapist and promptly blowing their minds with thoughts of death, despair, or audaciousness. While your therapist hasn't heard your exact story, he'll be okay. 
 
Most therapists have built a team of support around them to help them process the pain they hear in a day. Supervision, integrated loving relationships, supportive colleagues, and of course their own therapist are all integral to helping him stay grounded. A professor of mine once remarked "anybody can be a therapist, you just have to care. You come to school to learn how to be a therapist and not go crazy." 
 
Therapeutic ethics, boundaries, and professional support are all in place to make sure that you can speak to your full experience, and trust that your therapist can hear you and help you.
  
If you are interested in therapy, or have questions about your current therapy, please don't hesitate to ask! We love talking about our profession, and sharing just how awesome this work can be.

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By Daniel Tipton, MA

Do you ever find yourself looking at your phone and not knowing why? Increasing accessibility to screens and technology has provided us with a means to escape reality, essentially any time we want. Screens and the programs running on them offer us distraction and pleasure that is difficult to beat. "What if I miss something?" You might say.
Putting the phone down is a mindfulness practice within itself. Life presents us with challenges and we look for ways to escape, even for a moment, whether it be with alcohol, food, social media, crossword puzzles, video games, gossip, or other things that help us avoid the present moment. We forget to tune in and see all the wonderful "distractions" that are available with a little attention.

This is not another article calling you to put your phone down. I struggle with the same problem daily. My call here is to simply notice. Pay attention to how you feel when you are in each of these scenarios:

• On the phone
• Wanting to reach for the phone
• Off the phone for a short period of time
• Off the phone for a long period of time
• When you are around others and on your phone
• When you are compelled to reach for the phone when driving

Something I noticed is that I have to have a pep talk with myself in order to put it down. I say something like, "Daniel, you are going to be okay if you put the phone away for a while. 99.9% of notifications that come, you can respond to later. If there is an emergency that you can do something about, you will know in enough time. Remember how good it feels to give your attention to the present moment, even during challenging times."

This little affirmation helps me a great deal.